Torn

As I start preparing for my trip home I continue to be torn by two very different feelings.

On one side I am really sad at having to leave. There is a lingering doubt about my decision. A small part that says I'm taking the easy way out. That says I should be persevering and not giving in. The needs in the country are just as great as they are back home. My ideas for the future could just as easily be applied here. There is also the feeling of letting people down. I did make a long term commitment to the people here. Now I am cutting it short. I'm sure this is a disappointment for them.

And then on the other side is a wonderful feeling of happiness at going home. To see my friends and my family again. To share with them some of what I have experienced here. Also there is the excitement of starting a new challenge. Something new to put my mind to. To test myself against.

So I am torn between sorrow and happiness. Between disappointment and excitement. Torn between Turkey and South Africa.